Sabriel, Lirael, and a Sheep
by Dark Mage Chel
Summary: o_o I've done it now. A sheep wakes Sabriel up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. Veeeery strange.
1. In the Random Beginning

Sabriel, Lirael, and a Sheep  
By Dark Mage  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sabriel, Lirael, or anybody else except the sheep. His name is Orlando and he came from New Zealand.  
NOTES: This is my first time writing a fic that's not original/Lord of the Rings/Digimon... hope you like! Set after "Abhorsen".  
{Curtains up!}  
One day Sabriel woke up to find a sheep on her bed.  
"Touchstone," she said, "how the hell did this sheep get here?"  
"I don't know," Touchstone replied, "go back to sleep."  
  
But the sheep wouldn't let Sabriel sleep. It chewed on her blankets until she got up, deposited it outside, and got dressed. Then it followed her around everywhere.  
  
Sometime around noon, the sheep disappeared in a puff of illogicalness.   
  
"Well, that was odd..." Sabriel though to herself.  
  
All of a sudden, Sabril popped into existance.   
  
"HI!" Sabril screamed all perky-like. "I'M YOUR NEW TYPO TWIN! WE'LL BE BEST FRIENDS!"  
  
"AARGH!" a random voice shouted. "Why do you monsters keep plaguing me?"   
  
All of a sudden Sabriel had a vision of Sabril being shoved into a closet with a sign that said "Typo Twins, Mary-Sues, & Mini-Balrogs" on it. She wondered what a Mary-Sue and a Mini-Balrog were. Just then the voice spoke again.  
  
"Sorry Sabriel. It won't happen again, I promise. It was just a slip of the fingers. Oh, and I'm going to move you to a random island in the Ratterlin for, uh, plot reasons."  
  
Sabriel blinked and disappeared in a puff of illogicalness.   
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Lirael was sleeping on a random island in the Ratterlin when a sheep landed on her.  
  
"Ah!" she shouted, wondering why she was on a random island in the Ratterlin, with Prince Sameth and Mogget, who was, for "plot reasons" re-bound. "It's a random sheep falling from the sky!"  
  
"Baa," said the sheep. It then proceeded to eat some grass.  
  
All of a sudden Sabriel landed on top of Lirael.  
  
"Ah!" Lirael shouted, wondering why Sabriel had randomly fallen from the sky. "It's a random queen and sister falling from the sky randomly!"  
  
"You say random too much, Lirael." Sabriel replied, standing up and dusting herself off.  
  
"Sorry, randomly." Lirael said. "Ah! I randomly said random again! What in the random is wrong with me?"  
  
"That's odd..." Sabriel said, ignoring Lirael and looking at the place where the sheep was. "I could have sworn that that sheep woke me up this morning at 3 am!"  
  
"Oh," said Lirael, "Well, it randomly fell from the random sky and randomly landed on top of me."  
  
"Moo," said the sheep.  
  
Sabriel and Lirael made the Gondor Face {o_o} and randomly disappeared in a puff of illogicalness. The sheep shrugged and continued eating grass.  
  
{Curtains Close}  
NOTE: eh, sorry that was really short and stupid, but I kind of lost the plot... *runs off, trying to grab the plot* THE EVIL WIND TOOK IT! *twitchy twitch twitch*  
  
CHAPTER 2 COMING SOON! WHEEEEE! 


	2. Attack of the purely accidental, I swear...

Sabriel, Lirael, and a Sheep  
by Dark Mage  
  
To all my loverly reviewers: AI! AI! A BALROG! A BALROG IS COME! oops, wrong story, sorry. Umm, thanks for the reviews, and don't forget: Je suis une poissonne! (sorry about the bad French...)  
{Da Curtains go UP!}  
  
Sabriel and Lirael suddenly realized that they were standing about ten feet from where they were standing before they disappeared in a puff of illogicalness.  
  
Linkin Park was blasting.  
  
They didn't know who Linkin Park was, of course.  
  
The sheep was stll there, but everyone else seemed to have vanished.  
  
It was night.  
  
Or at least, it was dark out. And that was a good enough reason to assume (quite wrongly, of course) that it was night.  
  
But just because it was dark out doesn't mean it was night! Oh no, not at all. It was just a virtual night. Or something.  
  
"It seems to be nighttime," Lirael said. She was, of course, dead wrong.  
  
"Yes," replied Sabriel, "Or else we are just suspended in perpetual darkness."  
  
The sound of an explosion was heard somewhere off in the distance. It was the author's brain blowing up from overuse of gargantuan utterances.   
  
"GAH!" screeched a voice. "CUT THE BIG WORDS! MY BRAIN IS HAVING AN OVERLOAD!"  
  
Sabriel and Lirael cowered in fear. The sheep continued to eat grass. Sheeps like him like grass.  
  
"Moo," said the sheep. Mogget walked by.   
  
"Yo yo yo! Wassap my homie b!" Mogget said the the Sheep, who replied with a somewhat annoyed "Moo."  
  
Sabriel and Lirael looked at Mogget strangely. Little did they know that it wasn't really Mogget, but his evil typo twin (who was created by accident, I swear it!) Moggrt.  
  
part of the island Sabirel was standing on suddenly dropped away into nothingness. Lireal, Moget, Megget, Sarbil, Savrel, Sabrel, Shep, Sgeep, Sheeo, Shee, and Abriel popped into existance. They all partied because Sabriel was hanging off a cliff.  
  
{Da Curtains go DOWN!}  
  
*wince* We now have many more typo twins to add to our collection... Sorry, I seem to have lost the ability to type "Sabriel" "Lirael" "Mogget" and "Sheep" properly.  
  
Typo twins so far:  
Sabriel's: Sabril, Sarbil, Savrel, Sabrel, Abriel (please don't ask how I can screw up typing someone's name so much. Even I don't know.)  
Lirael's: Lireal  
Mogget's: Moget, Moggrt, Megget  
the Sheep's: Shep, Sgeep, Sheeo, Shee  
  
I CAN'T TYPE! *falls on her reviewers, sobbing*  
  
Next chapter: Moggrt has an evil plan... Find out what in the next exciting installment of "Sabriel, Lirael, and a Sheep"! 


	3. Say it with me: WEEEEEEEED

Sabirel, Lirael, and a Sheep  
  
by Dark Mage  
  
Author's Note: I am terribly sorry about the REALLY REALLY long delay. That was like, almost a year. I have a few excuses: I'm a lazy procrastonater, I got turned into a tree, I was abducted by the FBI and forced to eat cheese. It was really horrible ordeal for me, really it was. And I still can't type.  
  
{Curtains go UP!}  
  
Moggrt cackles edvilly to himself. Yes, edvilly.   
  
Then the moon blew up.  
  
"AAUGH!" screamed Sabriel. "The moon! It blew up!"   
  
Yes, it did. The moon went boom. YAY!  
  
"Wheee!" said Lirael. She was happy. She liked it when things went boom.  
  
"Lirael, what have you been smoking?" Sabriel asked.  
  
"Noooothing," Lirael replied, hiding the weed behind her back.  
  
Moggrt then proceeded to sneak behind Lirael. This was the beginning of his Master Plan (C). He snuck behind Lirael, and stole her WEEEEEEEEEED.  
  
Everyone say it with me:  
  
WEEEEEEEEEEEEED.  
  
Anyway.  
  
Lirael screamed. "MY WEED IS GONE!" She fell to the ground, sobbing.  
  
"Weed?" Sabriel inquired. "I thought you said you weren't smoking anything!"   
  
"I, uh, I wasn't!" Lirael exclaimed. "I was just... holding it. For... Plot Reasons. Yes, that's it. Plot Reasons." Her eyes went all shifty. Wheee, shiiiifty.  
  
Meanwhile, Moggrt was smoking the weed. He soon fell over, choked, and died.   
  
See, kids, that is why you don't do drugs.  
  
Fin.  
  
{Curtians Down}  
  
Sorry for the quite bad chapter. I felt like writing something. And, well, weed is fun to say.  
  
Everyone say it with me:  
  
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEED. 


	4. Sameth in Cyberspace

Sabriel, Lirael, and a Sheep  
  
by Dark Mage  
  
Author's Note: Dude... I wasn't gonna update, but then I re-read the Seventh Tower series and saw a website of .gif animations with the Lord of the Rings dudes kissing and it gave me a nosebleed so I decided to write MORE! Are you scared yet?  
  
Author's Note All Over Again, It's Like Torture, On Yes It Is: I forgot I put Sameth in here. ^_^;; So he gets a partially whole chapter of fun and randomness. YAY!  
  
{Curtains up!}  
  
Whilst all this hullabaloo was going on, Sameth had been calmly sitting on a small piece of air in the middle of the vast nothingness of outer space. Whee, nothingness.   
  
He was picking flowers.   
  
Where did the flowers come from? you ask. Because isn't he in the middle of the vast nothingness of outer space?   
  
Well, yes. And no! Muwahahaha.  
  
You see, Sameth wasn't in -space-. He was in -cyberspace-. And cyberspace is so much more different than space space. Firstly, it's funner to say. Secondly, it has a large amount of vastly amusing web sites where people go WHEEEE! and then shoot themselves because the world sucks.   
  
But, the reason there were flowers there was because--  
  
HEY LOOK! A CLOUD!  
  
...  
  
...  
  
{The editor would like to apoligize for that quite random outburst and would like to also say that it really isn't nice to make fun of kids with Ateention Defecit Dis-- hey, let's go ride bikes!}  
  
So once the author and the editor {who doesn't actually exist. I think. Or something. Mmyep...} had recovered from their sugar-induced mind wanderings, the story resumed.  
  
Sameth sat on a little piece of air in cyberspace, absentmindedly picking flowers. The flowers were daisies, and yes, that is slightly important to the plot.  
  
"He loves me, he loves me not," Sameth recited, absentmindedly plucking the petals off the daisy, which shrieked in pain and spurted great amounts of green oozy blood.   
  
"WAIT A SECOND!" Sameth yelled. "Something's not right here... But what could it be?" Sameth paced back and forth on his miniscule piece of nothingness.   
  
Deleted emails floated by. Porn ads floated by. The entire population of Fanfiction.net floated by.   
  
Sam didn't notice. He was slightly out of it. But only slightly.   
  
"Innocence shines in pleather with a whip..." Sam murmured. He then proceeded to do the Girly Wink { ^_~ }, at which the entire population of fangirls and the odd gay fanboy fell over in a state of swooningness.   
  
What this chapter had to do with anything, who knows?  
  
{Curtians down!}  
  
Author's Note, Yet Again, But This One's Uberly-Important!: Anyone with ADD or ADHD, please don't think I was trying to make fun of you. If you haven't been able to tell by now, I have an extremely warped sense of humor. And I pormise, to make up for it, I shall soon make fun of suicidal people and those dudes who bleed a lot. Hemo-whatsits. Yes. Them. Thank you for your time. 


End file.
